Blogarate

blogarate

The new self defense system designed for bloggers to keep the crazies away.

Have you ever encountered a knuckle dragging brute who is convinced your latest fiction was inspired by his momma?  I have.

Up until now we bloggers had only one option. Run.

Not anymore!

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Blogarate trains you to punch and kick out your posts.

That’s write you will be punching and kicking out your posts like never before!

The secret is in the humongous keyboard built on an adjustable rack.

The letters on the keyboard are specially designed to be punched, kicked, elbowed and kneed.

Blogarate builds confidence and gets you ripped as you express your innerself.

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Blogarate also comes with gloves and head gear. These moves are serious and deadly and we wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Blogarate is based on five martial art disciplines — Muay Thai, Tae Kwon Do, Jiu Jitsu, Karate and let’s not forget Kung Fu.

Act now and we will rush you a bonus DVD on ten ways to defend yourself with a cheese puff.

At Blogarate we like to say it’s not about the words, it’s about the punch-uation!

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Side effects are: confidence, a good night’s sleep and referring to everyone you meet on the street as your “little bitch.”

Get our Street Cred Package and get a free “I’m a Blogger, bitch” t-shirt.

Profanity not included.

This ad is brought to you by Potentially Disruptive.

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Never Too Late

Under the sun

Looking for fun

Flirting with the sea of darkness

underthesun

Take drink

Try not to sink

Escaping into the sea of darkness

mandrinking

All your troubles

Tiny air bubbles

Sinking into the sea of darkness

airbubbles

Take a toot

Soul becomes mute

Drowning in the sea of darkness

druguse

Out of the dark

Come the sharks

Prowling in the sea of darkness

demons

In the midst of strife

Better fight for your life

In the sea of darkness

fightforlife2

Illicit bait

Opens the gates

Into the sea of darkness

gatesofhell

Don’t be confused

As you’re consumed

In the sea of darkness

consumed

It was your sin

Jumping in

Into the sea of darkness

Open your eyes

And begin to rise

Out of the sea of darkness

awakening

Cut your ties

To all the lies

Trapping you in the sea of darkness

turnyourback

It’s never too late

To change your fate

Concerning the sea of darkness

beautifulday

Let Your Fear Disappear

Let’s be clear

On the topic of fear

Is it the dark

Is it the fact

Everyone thinks you’re a mark

Nobody has your back

When you’re attacked

Living in that home

Wishing everyone would leave you alone

You’re thinking Darwin was right

The pecking order requires you to fight

Again and again

That revolving door seems to never end

The key to success is finding a friend

There is someone around you can trust

This action is a must

Be careful who you pick

Don’t fall for a trick

Look for somebody your own age

Don’t feed in to each other’s rage

The answer is not a gun

The question is

How do you have fun

The more you laugh

The more you smile

The more you reject

The system’s bile

It keeps your heart clean

Which stops you from being mean

It’s not cool to fail

It’s not cool to go to jail

It doesn’t make you tough

It’s just a bunch of fluff

Coming from kids that are confused

Don’t be that muse

I’ll tell you what’s tight

Standing up for what’s right

Have fun and keep your mind clear

And watch your fear disappear

I Surfed the Ocean of Despair

I was the kind of foster kid that would stand with you till the end if you were my friend.

Even if it meant standing up to someone bigger, we would both get beat up together.

Even if it meant going AWOL to see some family, I would go with you.

When family members let you down, I would be the one to say dude why do you think we’re here.

I was the kid that would introduce you to everyone when you were new.

I was the kid that would always show you around school.

I was also the kid that would incite a riot.

I was one of those kids that was never quiet.

I was one of those kids that had a knack for getting out of jams.

I was one of those kids that was never really sad.

I always figured out a way of having fun.

That’s what got me through the system.

One of my many placements was MacLaren Hall, Los Angeles county’s hell hole. I spent over a year there — and I still have no complaints.

I was in there when the staff could put their hands on you. Give you a little wall to wall counseling.

I saw my fair share of solitary, known as Room One, where you’re stripped down to your underwear with just a mat in an eight by eight room and the bright lights never go out.

My system ride was no picnic.

It was like a wave of violence and dysfunction in an ocean of despair.

I say keep your eyes open, don’t turn your back on that wave. It will crush you.

Paddle out to it and surf it.

Look at it as an adventure.

You’ll come out less beat up in the end.

Stand Tall

Stand tall

Stand tall my little ones

Stand tall

It’s not your fault

Stand tall

After surviving the lies

Don’t be afraid to look others in the eyes

Stand tall

Stand tall when those about you fall

Stand tall

Speak for the weak

Screaming their stories from the highest peak

Stand tall

I will listen for your call

Stand tall

Just remember

You’re not alone

Stand tall.

Heroes

Last night at my oldest son’s football game a retired soldier was acknowledged in the stadium.

The announcer spoke of all the battles he had endured and all the accommodations he had received.

It made me think of all the kids that made it through foster care.

Some had cushy posts but most survived a war zone surrounded by the enemy for many years.

Think of the accommodations and medals they would receive.

Most of the battles these kids survived would make any soldier weep.

My hat goes off to these heroes.

Be proud you made it through the system.

I know I am.