Be Nice to Your Waiter

In a room that smelled like aging meat

Chef Mutton Chop had too much to drink


He blurted out:

The guy who prepared your soup


never washes his hands after he poops!

Yes, tap water from the sink


is scary to drink.

They all put their dinkys


in the drinkys!

And their noodles


poke your strudel!

Always having fun

with your bun,


never forgetting the extra sleaze

on the cheese.

Hepatitis — Tag, You’re it!

Chef Mutton Chop then leaned over and vomited in a trash can.

And one final thought…

They always use the tortilla as a wipe


before they roll your burrito tight.


Have a great time as you dine tonight.


Celebrities Comment on 500 Followers


I’ll tell you who’s trapped — I was trapped during that post. You’re full of rubbish. You should be kicked off the internet.


Oh my gawd! And you call yourself a writer? Are you stupid? Chef Mutton Chop was the biggest load of crap I’ve ever read! They should kick you off the internet.


Ken, Ken, Ken. Airing your family’s dirty laundry on the internet. What are you thinking? I’m thinking you weren’t’ thinking. Have you considered changing your title from Potentially Disruptive to Surely Stupid?


Blog till you’re naked? What are you NSA’ing my mind? Stealing my ideas? Trying to take my mojo? You’re potentially gonna get your butt kicked if I find you rolling around in my head again!


You give the outdoors a bad name. You couldn’t navigate your way out of a kid’s cupcake party.


I’m with Mattie-boy on this one. Stay out of my head! Those are my voices! Mine alone…

*These statements are a pigmentation of my imagination. No actual celebrities were contacted for their opinion on my reaching 500 followers.

 Potentially Disruptive thanks you for following! I always like to refer to myself in third-person.

Rappin’ Yogi Mossie

Yogi Mossie and the Down Dog Posse

We’re tearing hammies from here to Miami


We do our chaturangas in bling

We are the yoga kings


We’re always bringing the hassle

To the parkour lads in Newcastle


We’re always starting trouble

Here to burst your fitness bubble

Ram Pratap Verma, a 32-year-old aspiring Bollywood film actor, practices gymnastics on a beach in Mumbai

The heat’s in the meat

As we breathe to the beat


Yogi Mossie and the Down Dog Posse are tough

Not to be confused with the cross fit fluff


Internet blogger freaks doing Blogarate

It’s like a Yugo drag racing a Maserati



You do push-ups on your pinkies

We do press-ups with our winkies


Yoga’s the winner

We’ll consume you for dinner


Warrior 1


Warrior 3

We practice yoga for free


Yogi Mossie and the Down Dog Posse



The Big Stink



Shopping this morning my face is numb

It’s the second time I’ve been crop dusted by an invisible bum


A fly-by of flatulence that smells like day old bologna


Searching the quiet store


I caught a glimpse of old man Maloney

Laughing and chuckling as he disappeared down an aisle


He got me again

That smell sure is vile

The odor stuck to the clothes I was wearin’

Everyone be on the lookout for the Red Baron


A Chef’s Plea to Low Carb Dieters

Stop living in the closet.
What’s wrong with you?
You dream of foreplay with chips and salsa before you make love to a beef burrito.

But you deny yourself.
You even deny yourself birthday cake at your own child’s birthday party.

Stop living on the fringe where the burger meets the bun or the salad meets the crouton.
Come back my falafel eating maniacs.

What happened to binge drinking while shoving countless cupcakes in your face as you laughed all night?

Where did the laughter go?

Now it looks as if a nervous breakdown is imminent.

I’m calling all the little piggies back to the pen.

Eat Cake!

Live life to the fullest.


Chef Mutton Chop’s Plea is brought to you by Potentially Disruptive.




The new self defense system designed for bloggers to keep the crazies away.

Have you ever encountered a knuckle dragging brute who is convinced your latest fiction was inspired by his momma?  I have.

Up until now we bloggers had only one option. Run.

Not anymore!


Blogarate trains you to punch and kick out your posts.

That’s write you will be punching and kicking out your posts like never before!

The secret is in the humongous keyboard built on an adjustable rack.

The letters on the keyboard are specially designed to be punched, kicked, elbowed and kneed.

Blogarate builds confidence and gets you ripped as you express your innerself.


Blogarate also comes with gloves and head gear. These moves are serious and deadly and we wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Blogarate is based on five martial art disciplines — Muay Thai, Tae Kwon Do, Jiu Jitsu, Karate and let’s not forget Kung Fu.

Act now and we will rush you a bonus DVD on ten ways to defend yourself with a cheese puff.

At Blogarate we like to say it’s not about the words, it’s about the punch-uation!


Side effects are: confidence, a good night’s sleep and referring to everyone you meet on the street as your “little bitch.”

Get our Street Cred Package and get a free “I’m a Blogger, bitch” t-shirt.

Profanity not included.

This ad is brought to you by Potentially Disruptive.


On The Road Again

Flying down the road

The kids think I’m a troll

Because I’ll only play rock and roll

I sing loud and proud

I like the windows down

Still everybody frowns

They all want to hear one thing

And it’s not music from the king

I raised them on Miles and Coltrane

Mozart and Beethoven

Elvis and Frank

When did their musical tastes tank

They are fanatics about country

Since some of those weenies

Started wearing beanies

I would rather commit harry carry

Than listen to those fairies

About dirt and trucks

And dogs wagging their tails for good luck

I would rather stab myself in the neck

Than to sit back and say what the heck

I was told

I’m just getting old

Better roll up the windows before you catch a cold

Just another old man

Driving a bunch of kids in a mini van