Tag Archives: humor
Celebrities Comment on 500 Followers
I’ll tell you who’s trapped — I was trapped during that post. You’re full of rubbish. You should be kicked off the internet.
Oh my gawd! And you call yourself a writer? Are you stupid? Chef Mutton Chop was the biggest load of crap I’ve ever read! They should kick you off the internet.
Ken, Ken, Ken. Airing your family’s dirty laundry on the internet. What are you thinking? I’m thinking you weren’t’ thinking. Have you considered changing your title from Potentially Disruptive to Surely Stupid?
Blog till you’re naked? What are you NSA’ing my mind? Stealing my ideas? Trying to take my mojo? You’re potentially gonna get your butt kicked if I find you rolling around in my head again!
You give the outdoors a bad name. You couldn’t navigate your way out of a kid’s cupcake party.
I’m with Mattie-boy on this one. Stay out of my head! Those are my voices! Mine alone…
*These statements are a pigmentation of my imagination. No actual celebrities were contacted for their opinion on my reaching 500 followers.
Potentially Disruptive thanks you for following! I always like to refer to myself in third-person.
Billie Nominated Me for the Liebster Award!
Liebster Award given to Potentially Disruptive by Billie at Ireland, MS and Me
I was recently nominated for a Liebster Award. It basically means “lovely” in German, but also — sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome. It’s an award for up-and-coming bloggers with less than 200 followers. I’m honored to have been nominated for it. Thank you to Billie, a truly inspirational blogger over at Ireland, MS and Me, for the nomination. Be sure to check her out — the girl LOVES Ireland! And, as the definition reads, “welcome” to my blog and I hope you find yourself “welcome” at the blogs I’ve nominated at the end of this post. Check them out, too!
Here are the Liebster Rules:
1. List 11 facts about yourself.
2. Answer the 11 questions given to you.
3. Create 11 new questions for the bloggers you nominate for the award.
4. Choose 11 bloggers with 200 or less followers to nominate.
5. Go to each bloggers page and let them know about the award.
6. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.
11 Facts about Me:
1. I’m a third generation foster kid who has broken the cycle
2. I like popcorn popped in coconut oil
3. When I was a toddler I had long curly hair and people thought I was a girl
4. These days I have very little hair on my head — it’s mostly on my back
5. I’m a caveman
6. I think I’m superman
7. The Mega Stuff Oreo is the only Oreo I don’t pull apart to eat
8. I like alcohol but not drunks (sorry to any of you reading)
9. I’m originally from California but now live in Texas
10. I’m always striving to be a better husband and father
11. My wife says I might be lying about #10
11 Questions Answered:
1. What does blogging mean to you?
2. Does everyone you know love the idea of you putting your words out there in the blogging world?
No. Not really. A lot of my subject matter is touchy to my inner-circles.
3. If you could be published, would you write things you do not stand behind?
4. If you could return or go to college, would you pick the same subjects you initially studied?
I only took two classes at a community college — volleyball and weight lifting. At the time it was cheaper than a gym membership. I always wanted to be a yogi, but there just wasn’t enough punching and kicking involved. Seriously though, information is pretty much free now. You can learn anything you want these days.
5. What do books mean to you?
Thoughts from the greats.
6. Did blogging change your mindset about life, i.e. do you look at yourself the same way you did before starting a blog?
It’s been a huge paradigm shift. Thoughts and information can now be shared freely. There’s not some old man in a suit deciding which ideas are good and which are bad. People get to decide that for themselves.
7. Who is your favorite author and why?
Kahlil Gibran. His words are like honey.
8. Did life turn out the way you thought it would?
Nope. No way. When I was little I thought I would be a bank robber.
9. Aside from blogging, what other interests do you have?
Pretty much any outdoor activity with my family, playing chess and coaching soccer.
10. Do you want to be inspirational or be inspired yourself?
That’s like reading or writing — which would you choose? The two ideas are intertwined. To be inspirational and to be inspired are one in the same. And I actively participate in both.
11. Fun fact: just tell us a funny story or fact to end this long blog post to keep a positive imprint of your words on our brains 🙂
You know why it’s dangerous for birds to kiss? They might get cherpies.
The Bloggers I’ve Nominated for the Liebster Award
11 New Questions
If you were nominated, these questions are for you.
1. Tell me in three words what you would say if you could whisper to a billion people and they were actively listening?
2. If you were in command of a billion people and they had to follow your orders, what would be the first order you gave them?
3. What is your favorite dish to cook? If you don’t cook, what’s your favorite dish a friend makes for you?
4. What’s the recipe? I’m gonna try it.
5. What is your favorite all time song?
6. What would you be if you could be anything that you wanted to be?
7. In three words describe what writing/blogging means to you?
8. If you could do a road trip anywhere in the world what vehicle would you drive?
9. Who is humanities ultimate hero?
10. Tell me a mystery from your family history.
11. Write me a Haiku. Just kidding. No seriously. Write me one. Just kidding.
12. What is your one favorite word? Not concept. Word. Mine is Cucamonga. Doesn’t it feel like it gets all the cobwebs out of your mouth?
On The Road Again
Flying down the road
The kids think I’m a troll
Because I’ll only play rock and roll
I sing loud and proud
I like the windows down
Still everybody frowns
They all want to hear one thing
And it’s not music from the king
I raised them on Miles and Coltrane
Mozart and Beethoven
Elvis and Frank
When did their musical tastes tank
They are fanatics about country
Since some of those weenies
Started wearing beanies
I would rather commit harry carry
Than listen to those fairies
About dirt and trucks
And dogs wagging their tails for good luck
I would rather stab myself in the neck
Than to sit back and say what the heck
I was told
I’m just getting old
Better roll up the windows before you catch a cold
Just another old man
Driving a bunch of kids in a mini van
Beware of the energy vamp
Beware of where they camp
They are looking for you
To turn your mind into goo
With their senseless stories
Feels like your head’s been hit by a lorry
Over and over again
The pain never seems to end
All that useless chatter
What does it really matter
On and on, and on and on they go
Where they stop nobody knows
They’re filling my head full of junk
It’s putting me in a funk
None of it makes any sense
Is there a way to build a mental fence
To stop the onslaught
I’m always getting caught
How does speech
Morph into a leech
To tap you dry
I’m gonna cry
I’m just being silly
They all need a group hug
And a big sloppy kiss on the mug
I almost forgot to mention
They need YOUR attention
This is a public service announcement from potentially disruptive.
The Procrastinators Slogan
Mean and Green
The wife and I watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead
It got stuck in her head
It’s all about juice fasting
Guess who she’s casting
I’m going on a juice fast
She says it’s gonna be a blast
I’m sipping a glass of green yuk
What the #@!$
It already started — no way!
Not a month of drinking hay
But I still get coffee for a week
Ah, she’s so sweet
My little wife
Doing her best to extend my life
But I’m not taking meds
I’m not half dead
I’m not fat and slow
I’m always on the go
Why did the Australian make that show
Now all my food has to go
Why wasn’t it on beer and wine
Now that would be a good time
Just Say NO to Mayo
It all started when I sold my motorcycle
For a one-way ticket to the British Isles
I was following a girl
Who went to university in Leeds
She wanted to become a barrister
To fight for women’s needs
I stayed in the south where I could make some cash
I was heading up north for my birthday bash
There was a deep pain in my stomach
I was curled up feeling sad
That mayo on my sandwich must have been bad
My stomach hurt for three days
I went to the doctor
Amazed I didn’t have to pay
Boarding British rail
I was on my way
To see my friend
I could not wait
Arriving at our destination
Six hours late
I didn’t really mind
Until a bottle of wine
Got busted in my nap sack
Going through the turn style
I heard a whack
All my stuff was wet
Still I didn’t fret
I was too excited to see my friend
Plus my stomach was on the mend
I was feeling great
We put my stuff in the wash
And went out and on our date
I hadn’t eaten in days
So a big meal I ate
Walking on the way home
My stomach groaned
I picked up the pace
She said this isn’t a race
You don’t understand I have to go
Please don’t walk so slow
Squeezing my cheeks
Moving my feet
I made it to the door
Half way up the stairs
This isn’t fair
Everything came rushing out
The look on her face
Was like she just got maced
She was pretty clever
Hosing me off in that cold weather
Later that night I tried to get frisky
She said the world doesn’t contain enough whisky
We were just back from Europe
Our apartment was small
We were getting depressed
In the land of strip malls
My fellow traveler and funky girlfriend
Both us feeling the walls closing in
Get in the Honda
And head toward the mountains
Looking to rejuvenate
In nature’s wonderful fountain
We found our spot and settled in
This is where the adventure begins
Cooking raw chicken
On busted tree limbs
We heard a strange noise
Coming from down the mountain
It was so far away
Is why we weren’t afraid
Wrapped up in blankets
That cold autumn night
Feeling the warmth of the fire
Everything seemed just right
When a loud and horrible roar
Came from just past our fire light
We ran to the car and locked the doors tight
We looked at each other
This isn’t right
All our things including the keys
Are still at the camp site
Our car was parked beside a drop off
In a precarious position
We needed our keys
To end this rejuvenation mission
A nudge from a bear would send us on a long rolling trip
We sat in the car and I suggested we flip
See my girlfriend was on a feminist kick
She never wanted me to hold open a door
Or carry the bags home from the store
A flip seemed modern and fair
She lost the flip
So she would be facing the bear
I kissed her good-bye
All she did was stare
Stare at the man
That gave her the ultimate dare
I kissed her again and flew out the door
Scooping up our stuff as I roared
Back to the car in a flash
Down the mountain we went
Back to the reality of paying rent
Nature’s fountain had rejuvenated our core
We were feeling much better than before
Our little apartment
Didn’t seem so bad…
Take It Back
Up on a hill on Wailuku Drive
Two boys on a bicycle fly by
Cousin on the handle bars
Me on the seat
Both boys cursing each other through their teeth
Ninety degree turn up head
Take it back, cousin I said
You take it back you freak
Both of us screaming ‘take it back’
While flying down the street
I’m not slowing down this bike
Until you apologize to me
You started it by popping a wheely
Too late now
Controlled crash it has to be
Sliding off the road into banana trees
All bloodied up with torn clothes
We left the broken bike in the groves
But off to work we still go
Both of us limping on opposite sides of the road
Flipping each other off as we moan and groan
I take it back cousin
There, I said it
It wasn’t right
Me popping the wheely
While you weren’t holding on tight
I know we laughed about it that night
But twenty years later
Ha, I beat you again
I said “I take it back” first
Got you again
Thank you cousin
You’ve been a great friend