A middle-aged woman speeding in a truck
Hogs the lane like she doesn’t give a @$#%
Than running you over with her truck
In a room that smelled like aging meat
Chef Mutton Chop had too much to drink
He blurted out:
The guy who prepared your soup
never washes his hands after he poops!
Yes, tap water from the sink
is scary to drink.
They all put their dinkys
in the drinkys!
And their noodles
poke your strudel!
Always having fun
with your bun,
never forgetting the extra sleaze
on the cheese.
Hepatitis — Tag, You’re it!
Chef Mutton Chop then leaned over and vomited in a trash can.
And one final thought…
They always use the tortilla as a wipe
before they roll your burrito tight.
Cheers!
Have a great time as you dine tonight.
Yogi Mossie and the Down Dog Posse
We’re tearing hammies from here to Miami
We do our chaturangas in bling
We are the yoga kings
We’re always bringing the hassle
To the parkour lads in Newcastle
We’re always starting trouble
Here to burst your fitness bubble
The heat’s in the meat
As we breathe to the beat
Yogi Mossie and the Down Dog Posse are tough
Not to be confused with the cross fit fluff
Internet blogger freaks doing Blogarate
It’s like a Yugo drag racing a Maserati
You do push-ups on your pinkies
We do press-ups with our winkies
Yoga’s the winner
We’ll consume you for dinner
Warrior 1
Warrior2
Warrior 3
We practice yoga for free
Yogi Mossie and the Down Dog Posse
Namaste
The wife and I watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead
It got stuck in her head
It’s all about juice fasting
Guess who she’s casting
Me
I’m going on a juice fast
She says it’s gonna be a blast
I’m sipping a glass of green yuk
What the #@!$
It already started — no way!
Not a month of drinking hay
But I still get coffee for a week
Ah, she’s so sweet
My little wife
Doing her best to extend my life
But I’m not taking meds
I’m not half dead
I’m not fat and slow
I’m always on the go
Why did the Australian make that show
Now all my food has to go
Why wasn’t it on beer and wine
Now that would be a good time