Be Nice to Your Waiter

In a room that smelled like aging meat

Chef Mutton Chop had too much to drink


He blurted out:

The guy who prepared your soup


never washes his hands after he poops!

Yes, tap water from the sink


is scary to drink.

They all put their dinkys


in the drinkys!

And their noodles


poke your strudel!

Always having fun

with your bun,


never forgetting the extra sleaze

on the cheese.

Hepatitis — Tag, You’re it!

Chef Mutton Chop then leaned over and vomited in a trash can.

And one final thought…

They always use the tortilla as a wipe


before they roll your burrito tight.


Have a great time as you dine tonight.


Mean and Green

The wife and I watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead

It got stuck in her head

It’s all about juice fasting

Guess who she’s casting


I’m going on a juice fast

She says it’s gonna be a blast

I’m sipping a glass of green yuk

What the #@!$

It already started — no way!

Not a month of drinking hay

But I still get coffee for a week

Ah, she’s so sweet

My little wife

Doing her best to extend my life

But I’m not taking meds

I’m not half dead

I’m not fat and slow

I’m always on the go

Why did the Australian make that show

Now all my food has to go

Why wasn’t it on beer and wine

Now that would be a good time