Stop living in the closet.
What’s wrong with you?
You dream of foreplay with chips and salsa before you make love to a beef burrito.

But you deny yourself.
You even deny yourself birthday cake at your own child’s birthday party.

Stop living on the fringe where the burger meets the bun or the salad meets the crouton.
Come back my falafel eating maniacs.

What happened to binge drinking while shoving countless cupcakes in your face as you laughed all night?

Where did the laughter go?

Now it looks as if a nervous breakdown is imminent.

I’m calling all the little piggies back to the pen.

Eat Cake!

Live life to the fullest.

Chef Mutton Chop’s Plea is brought to you by Potentially Disruptive.