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Tag Archives: awkward
The Homeboy Shuffle
Video
Foster kid Kenny’s dance interpretation of arriving at his first boys home. Go Kenny!
National Action Figure Day
Video
Kenny promotes National Action Figure Day in an interview.
Be Nice to Your Waiter
In a room that smelled like aging meat
Chef Mutton Chop had too much to drink
He blurted out:
The guy who prepared your soup
never washes his hands after he poops!
Yes, tap water from the sink
is scary to drink.
They all put their dinkys
in the drinkys!
And their noodles
poke your strudel!
Always having fun
with your bun,
never forgetting the extra sleaze
on the cheese.
Hepatitis — Tag, You’re it!
Chef Mutton Chop then leaned over and vomited in a trash can.
And one final thought…
They always use the tortilla as a wipe
before they roll your burrito tight.
Cheers!
Have a great time as you dine tonight.
Trapped
Yesterday I got trapped in a conversation about nothing,
And it went on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
Then I thought it was over
But it wasn’t
And it kept going on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
Then I thought it was over
But it wasn’t
So it went on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
I searched for an escape
But it kept going on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
Then I thought it was over
But it wasn’t
And it kept going on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
Then I thought it was over
But it wasn’t
And it kept going on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And I think it may still be going on…
Rappin’ Yogi Mossie
Yogi Mossie and the Down Dog Posse
We’re tearing hammies from here to Miami
We do our chaturangas in bling
We are the yoga kings
We’re always bringing the hassle
To the parkour lads in Newcastle
We’re always starting trouble
Here to burst your fitness bubble
The heat’s in the meat
As we breathe to the beat
Yogi Mossie and the Down Dog Posse are tough
Not to be confused with the cross fit fluff
Internet blogger freaks doing Blogarate
It’s like a Yugo drag racing a Maserati
You do push-ups on your pinkies
We do press-ups with our winkies
Yoga’s the winner
We’ll consume you for dinner
Warrior 1
Warrior2
Warrior 3
We practice yoga for free
Yogi Mossie and the Down Dog Posse
Namaste
The Big Stink
Aside
Shopping this morning my face is numb
It’s the second time I’ve been crop dusted by an invisible bum
A fly-by of flatulence that smells like day old bologna
Searching the quiet store
I caught a glimpse of old man Maloney
Laughing and chuckling as he disappeared down an aisle
He got me again
That smell sure is vile
The odor stuck to the clothes I was wearin’
Everyone be on the lookout for the Red Baron
A Chef’s Plea to Low Carb Dieters
Stop living in the closet.
What’s wrong with you?
You dream of foreplay with chips and salsa before you make love to a beef burrito.
But you deny yourself.
You even deny yourself birthday cake at your own child’s birthday party.
Stop living on the fringe where the burger meets the bun or the salad meets the crouton.
Come back my falafel eating maniacs.
What happened to binge drinking while shoving countless cupcakes in your face as you laughed all night?
Where did the laughter go?
Now it looks as if a nervous breakdown is imminent.
I’m calling all the little piggies back to the pen.
Eat Cake!
Live life to the fullest.
Chef Mutton Chop’s Plea is brought to you by Potentially Disruptive.
Blogarate
The new self defense system designed for bloggers to keep the crazies away.
Have you ever encountered a knuckle dragging brute who is convinced your latest fiction was inspired by his momma? I have.
Up until now we bloggers had only one option. Run.
Not anymore!
Blogarate trains you to punch and kick out your posts.
That’s write you will be punching and kicking out your posts like never before!
The secret is in the humongous keyboard built on an adjustable rack.
The letters on the keyboard are specially designed to be punched, kicked, elbowed and kneed.
Blogarate builds confidence and gets you ripped as you express your innerself.
Blogarate also comes with gloves and head gear. These moves are serious and deadly and we wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.
Blogarate is based on five martial art disciplines — Muay Thai, Tae Kwon Do, Jiu Jitsu, Karate and let’s not forget Kung Fu.
Act now and we will rush you a bonus DVD on ten ways to defend yourself with a cheese puff.
At Blogarate we like to say it’s not about the words, it’s about the punch-uation!
Side effects are: confidence, a good night’s sleep and referring to everyone you meet on the street as your “little bitch.”
Get our Street Cred Package and get a free “I’m a Blogger, bitch” t-shirt.
Profanity not included.
This ad is brought to you by Potentially Disruptive.
Getting Caught
Beware of the energy vamp
Beware of where they camp
They are looking for you
To turn your mind into goo
With their senseless stories
Feels like your head’s been hit by a lorry
Over and over again
The pain never seems to end
All that useless chatter
What does it really matter
On and on, and on and on they go
Where they stop nobody knows
They’re filling my head full of junk
It’s putting me in a funk
None of it makes any sense
Is there a way to build a mental fence
To stop the onslaught
I’m always getting caught
How does speech
Morph into a leech
To tap you dry
I’m gonna cry
Not really
I’m just being silly
They all need a group hug
And a big sloppy kiss on the mug
I almost forgot to mention
They need YOUR attention
This is a public service announcement from potentially disruptive.
MARTENEY MEDIA 