The past doesn’t exist because it’s already gone. The future doesn’t exist because it hasn’t arrived. The present becomes the past instantaneously. Therefore I believe we all live in a dream. Some are shackled by the dream of the past. Some are harnessed to the dream of the future. We are all being spun like a dreidel by the whirlwind of fabric that constitutes the coming and passing of time. Your dream, your choice.
A middle-aged woman speeding in a truck
Hogs the lane like she doesn’t give a @$#%
Cyclists beware
She cares more about her hair
Than running you over with her truck
In a room that smelled like aging meat
Chef Mutton Chop had too much to drink
He blurted out:
The guy who prepared your soup
never washes his hands after he poops!
Yes, tap water from the sink
is scary to drink.
They all put their dinkys
in the drinkys!
And their noodles
poke your strudel!
Always having fun
with your bun,
never forgetting the extra sleaze
on the cheese.
Hepatitis — Tag, You’re it!
Chef Mutton Chop then leaned over and vomited in a trash can.
And one final thought…
They always use the tortilla as a wipe
before they roll your burrito tight.
Cheers!
Have a great time as you dine tonight.
I’ll tell you who’s trapped — I was trapped during that post. You’re full of rubbish. You should be kicked off the internet.
Oh my gawd! And you call yourself a writer? Are you stupid? Chef Mutton Chop was the biggest load of crap I’ve ever read! They should kick you off the internet.
Ken, Ken, Ken. Airing your family’s dirty laundry on the internet. What are you thinking? I’m thinking you weren’t’ thinking. Have you considered changing your title from Potentially Disruptive to Surely Stupid?
Blog till you’re naked? What are you NSA’ing my mind? Stealing my ideas? Trying to take my mojo? You’re potentially gonna get your butt kicked if I find you rolling around in my head again!
You give the outdoors a bad name. You couldn’t navigate your way out of a kid’s cupcake party.
I’m with Mattie-boy on this one. Stay out of my head! Those are my voices! Mine alone…
*These statements are a pigmentation of my imagination. No actual celebrities were contacted for their opinion on my reaching 500 followers.
Potentially Disruptive thanks you for following! I always like to refer to myself in third-person.
Yesterday I got trapped in a conversation about nothing,
And it went on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
Then I thought it was over
But it wasn’t
And it kept going on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
Then I thought it was over
But it wasn’t
So it went on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
I searched for an escape
But it kept going on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
Then I thought it was over
But it wasn’t
And it kept going on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
Then I thought it was over
But it wasn’t
And it kept going on
And on and on and on
And on and on and on
And I think it may still be going on…
Yogi Mossie and the Down Dog Posse
We’re tearing hammies from here to Miami
We do our chaturangas in bling
We are the yoga kings
We’re always bringing the hassle
To the parkour lads in Newcastle
We’re always starting trouble
Here to burst your fitness bubble
The heat’s in the meat
As we breathe to the beat
Yogi Mossie and the Down Dog Posse are tough
Not to be confused with the cross fit fluff
Internet blogger freaks doing Blogarate
It’s like a Yugo drag racing a Maserati
You do push-ups on your pinkies
We do press-ups with our winkies
Yoga’s the winner
We’ll consume you for dinner
Warrior 1
Warrior2
Warrior 3
We practice yoga for free
Yogi Mossie and the Down Dog Posse
Namaste
Granny’s looking for someone special to meet
Cruising the internet for a guy who’s sweet
Her husband died and now she feels like a loner
Over the net she met a Ukrainian mine owner
The picture of the man is tall dark and handsome
Not realizing her heart will be held for ransom
Granny really begins to care
He knows all the right words to share
He likes to instant message by choice
Granny never hears his voice
It’s a little odd he won’t use a phone
Then he instant messages Granny for a loan
He’s in big trouble… a situation far away
Granny loves him so she says “okay”
This situation goes on and on
Until all of Granny’s savings are gone
All those with grannies please beware
Scammers are everywhere
Stay close to your granny
Cheers
Shopping this morning my face is numb
It’s the second time I’ve been crop dusted by an invisible bum
A fly-by of flatulence that smells like day old bologna
Searching the quiet store
I caught a glimpse of old man Maloney
Laughing and chuckling as he disappeared down an aisle
He got me again
That smell sure is vile
The odor stuck to the clothes I was wearin’
Everyone be on the lookout for the Red Baron
Stop living in the closet.
What’s wrong with you?
You dream of foreplay with chips and salsa before you make love to a beef burrito.
But you deny yourself.
You even deny yourself birthday cake at your own child’s birthday party.
Stop living on the fringe where the burger meets the bun or the salad meets the crouton.
Come back my falafel eating maniacs.
What happened to binge drinking while shoving countless cupcakes in your face as you laughed all night?
Where did the laughter go?
Now it looks as if a nervous breakdown is imminent.
I’m calling all the little piggies back to the pen.
Eat Cake!
Live life to the fullest.
Chef Mutton Chop’s Plea is brought to you by Potentially Disruptive.
MARTENEY MEDIA 