About Ken Marteney

A former system kid. Creative at heart. Digital nomad by choice. Lover of coffee and all things sweet. Offering a helping hand to ALL.

The Big Stink

Aside

grocerystore

Shopping this morning my face is numb

It’s the second time I’ve been crop dusted by an invisible bum

holdingnose

A fly-by of flatulence that smells like day old bologna

redbaronwithgun

Searching the quiet store

grocery-store-aisles

I caught a glimpse of old man Maloney

Laughing and chuckling as he disappeared down an aisle

laughingman

He got me again

That smell sure is vile

The odor stuck to the clothes I was wearin’

Everyone be on the lookout for the Red Baron

redbaron

A Chef’s Plea to Low Carb Dieters

piggy
Stop living in the closet.
What’s wrong with you?
You dream of foreplay with chips and salsa before you make love to a beef burrito.

bigburritolove
But you deny yourself.
You even deny yourself birthday cake at your own child’s birthday party.

birthday
Stop living on the fringe where the burger meets the bun or the salad meets the crouton.
Come back my falafel eating maniacs.

falafel
What happened to binge drinking while shoving countless cupcakes in your face as you laughed all night?

cupcakes
Where did the laughter go?

laughter
Now it looks as if a nervous breakdown is imminent.

hamsterwheel
I’m calling all the little piggies back to the pen.

Eat Cake!

cake
Live life to the fullest.

bigbelly

Chef Mutton Chop’s Plea is brought to you by Potentially Disruptive.

psa

Foster Care: A Survival Guide 

If I had five minutes to talk to a kid entering foster care, here’s what I’d say to them. And if I could talk with them every day, I’d go over these things with them again and again. But I can’t. So I wrote them down. Please share. Thanks, Ken

This pocket-guide offers easy tips, which are often overlooked, for success in the foster care system and beyond. Drawing on his past experiences as a system kid, Mr. Marteney, offers insightful advice on how a few simple actions can have a huge impact on a foster child’s experience in the system.

fostercaresurvivalguide

Ken Marteney is a third-generation foster kid from the Los Angeles area, having lived in foster homes, boys’ homes, and group homes. After successfully navigating the system, Ken worked his way around the globe traveling as far east as England and as far west as Hawaii.

He’s a normal guy that just happened to have grown up in extraordinary circumstances. He is passionate about kids not only surviving, but thriving while in foster care.

Ken feels like he’s won the lottery every day. He currently resides in Texas, happily married with three kids.

Blogarate

blogarate

The new self defense system designed for bloggers to keep the crazies away.

Have you ever encountered a knuckle dragging brute who is convinced your latest fiction was inspired by his momma?  I have.

Up until now we bloggers had only one option. Run.

Not anymore!

punch

Blogarate trains you to punch and kick out your posts.

That’s write you will be punching and kicking out your posts like never before!

The secret is in the humongous keyboard built on an adjustable rack.

The letters on the keyboard are specially designed to be punched, kicked, elbowed and kneed.

Blogarate builds confidence and gets you ripped as you express your innerself.

kick

Blogarate also comes with gloves and head gear. These moves are serious and deadly and we wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Blogarate is based on five martial art disciplines — Muay Thai, Tae Kwon Do, Jiu Jitsu, Karate and let’s not forget Kung Fu.

Act now and we will rush you a bonus DVD on ten ways to defend yourself with a cheese puff.

At Blogarate we like to say it’s not about the words, it’s about the punch-uation!

punch2

Side effects are: confidence, a good night’s sleep and referring to everyone you meet on the street as your “little bitch.”

Get our Street Cred Package and get a free “I’m a Blogger, bitch” t-shirt.

Profanity not included.

This ad is brought to you by Potentially Disruptive.

jumpkick

Moorbey Nominated Me for the Versatile Blogger Award

versatile

Sending gratitude out to Moorbey over at Moorbey’z Blog for awarding me the Versatile Blogger award. If you haven’t checked out his site please head over and have a look around.  I’m truly honored to have received this award from such a passionate and empowered individual.

THE RULES:

1-Thank and link back to the person who awarded you.

2-Nominate 15 bloggers for The Versatile Blogger Award and include a link to their site (and tell them that you have nominated them).

3-State 7 things about yourself.

7 THINGS ABOUT ME:

1. I used to have a problem with authority, now I just call it living against the grain

2. I grew up in Los Angeles and now live in a small Texas town

3. I drink crazy strong coffee

4. I just finished coaching my first season of U8 soccer

5. I’ve got two screenplay projects in development

6. Actively looking for distribution channels to get my book into foster kids’ hands

7. Goals: set up a global organization for lifetime mentoring for foster kids and set up a global organization for investigating and filing charges against those that prey on foster kids

MY NOMINATIONS:

1. http://becomingcliche.wordpress.com/

2. http://lifewithpethairhairballs.wordpress.com/

3. http://hamsterbritain.com/

4. http://ashadeofpen.wordpress.com/

5. http://oyestheydid.com/

6. http://myparentsarecrazierthanyours.com/

7. http://waywardspirit.wordpress.com/

8. http://mymeanderingtrail.com/

9. http://funkangeles.wordpress.com/

10. http://adoptiveperspective.wordpress.com/

11. http://festivalking.wordpress.com/

12. http://palestinerose.wordpress.com/

13. http://vodkawasmymuse.wordpress.com/

14. http://jamesthedriver.wordpress.com/

15. http://merryfrolics.wordpress.com/

Congratulations to all the nominees!

Never Too Late

Under the sun

Looking for fun

Flirting with the sea of darkness

underthesun

Take drink

Try not to sink

Escaping into the sea of darkness

mandrinking

All your troubles

Tiny air bubbles

Sinking into the sea of darkness

airbubbles

Take a toot

Soul becomes mute

Drowning in the sea of darkness

druguse

Out of the dark

Come the sharks

Prowling in the sea of darkness

demons

In the midst of strife

Better fight for your life

In the sea of darkness

fightforlife2

Illicit bait

Opens the gates

Into the sea of darkness

gatesofhell

Don’t be confused

As you’re consumed

In the sea of darkness

consumed

It was your sin

Jumping in

Into the sea of darkness

Open your eyes

And begin to rise

Out of the sea of darkness

awakening

Cut your ties

To all the lies

Trapping you in the sea of darkness

turnyourback

It’s never too late

To change your fate

Concerning the sea of darkness

beautifulday

Billie Nominated Me for the Liebster Award!

    liebsteraward

Liebster Award given to Potentially Disruptive by Billie at Ireland, MS and Me

I was recently nominated for a Liebster Award. It basically means “lovely” in German, but also — sweetest, kindest, nicest, dearest, beloved, kind, pleasant, valued, cute, endearing and welcome. It’s an award for up-and-coming bloggers with less than 200 followers. I’m honored to have been nominated for it. Thank you to Billie, a truly inspirational blogger over at Ireland, MS and Me, for the nomination. Be sure to check her out — the girl LOVES Ireland! And, as the definition reads, “welcome” to my blog and I hope you find yourself “welcome” at the blogs I’ve nominated at the end of this post. Check them out, too!

Here are the Liebster Rules:

1. List 11 facts about yourself.
2. Answer the 11 questions given to you.
3. Create 11 new questions for the bloggers you nominate for the award.
4. Choose 11 bloggers with 200 or less followers to nominate.
5. Go to each bloggers page and let them know about the award.
6. Thank the person who nominated you and link back to their blog.

11 Facts about Me:

1. I’m a third generation foster kid who has broken the cycle
2. I like popcorn popped in coconut oil
3. When I was a toddler I had long curly hair and people thought I was a girl
4. These days I have very little hair on my head — it’s mostly on my back
5. I’m a caveman
6. I think I’m superman
7. The Mega Stuff Oreo is the only Oreo I don’t pull apart to eat
8. I like alcohol but not drunks (sorry to any of you reading)
9. I’m originally from California but now live in Texas
10. I’m always striving to be a better husband and father
11. My wife says I might be lying about #10

11 Questions Answered:

1. What does blogging mean to you?
Transparency.

2. Does everyone you know love the idea of you putting your words out there in the blogging world?
No. Not really. A lot of my subject matter is touchy to my inner-circles.

3. If you could be published, would you write things you do not stand behind?
Heck no.

4. If you could return or go to college, would you pick the same subjects you initially studied?
I only took two classes at a community college — volleyball and weight lifting. At the time it was cheaper than a gym membership. I always wanted to be a yogi, but there just wasn’t enough punching and kicking involved. Seriously though, information is pretty much free now. You can learn anything you want these days.

5. What do books mean to you?
  Thoughts from the greats.

6. Did blogging change your mindset about life, i.e. do you look at yourself the same way you did before starting a blog?
It’s been a huge paradigm shift. Thoughts and information can now be shared freely. There’s not some old man in a suit deciding which ideas are good and which are bad. People get to decide that for themselves.

7. Who is your favorite author and why?
Kahlil Gibran. His words are like honey.

8. Did life turn out the way you thought it would?
Nope. No way. When I was little I thought I would be a bank robber.

9. Aside from blogging, what other interests do you have?
Pretty much any outdoor activity with my family, playing chess and coaching soccer.

10. Do you want to be inspirational or be inspired yourself?
That’s like reading or writing — which would you choose? The two ideas are intertwined. To be inspirational and to be inspired are one in the same. And I actively participate in both.

11. Fun fact: just tell us a funny story or fact to end this long blog post to keep a positive imprint of your words on our brains 🙂
You know why it’s dangerous for birds to kiss? They might get cherpies.  

The Bloggers I’ve Nominated for the Liebster Award

http://pagesonadoption.wordpress.com/

http://ericamclellan.wordpress.com/

http://euclidfireflies.wordpress.com/

http://isabellakai.wordpress.com/

http://beerandamovie.wordpress.com/

http://beboldbaltimore.wordpress.com/

http://michelbotman.com/

http://staceyvalley.wordpress.com/

http://365to50.wordpress.com/

http://candidred.wordpress.com/

http://unspokenblog.wordpress.com/

11 New Questions

If you were nominated, these questions are for you.

1. Tell me in three words what you would say if you could whisper to a billion people and they were actively listening?
2. If you were in command of a billion people and they had to follow your orders, what would be the first order you gave them?
3. What is your favorite dish to cook? If you don’t cook, what’s your favorite dish a friend makes for you?
4. What’s the recipe? I’m gonna try it.
5. What is your favorite all time song?
6. What would you be if you could be anything that you wanted to be?
7. In three words describe what writing/blogging means to you?
8. If you could do a road trip anywhere in the world what vehicle would you drive?
9. Who is humanities ultimate hero?
10. Tell me a mystery from your family history.
11. Write me a Haiku. Just kidding. No seriously. Write me one. Just kidding.
12. What is your one favorite word? Not concept. Word. Mine is Cucamonga. Doesn’t it feel like it gets all the cobwebs out of your mouth?

A Tale of The Company

Lock and load
montecarlo

Shameful road

Loving souls
hippies

Lumps of coal
shadypeople
Empty eyes

Fried minds
fried
Never any good-byes

On the run
running
With a ton

All told

Lots of gold
gold

Only lead
lead

Many dead

Rat a tat tat!
rat

Most in jail
dea

Lots of tales
talltales

About loving souls
jewels

Morphing into lumps of coal
coal

Sad empty eyes

Brilliant fried minds

Never any good-byes
taillights

The Coronado Company

Have you seen the press?

Clooney, Heslov, Bearman.

An island’s dirty little secret.

hoteldel

Memories flood in.

Hippies, honey-bear cookies and my best friend Bear.

kennyandbear

Carefree days roaming freely.

Wind in my hair.

kennyonboat

Sun on my face.

People I looked up to, lived with, laughed with.

oldyellowhouse

Sweet memories.

And then… the screeching brakes of reality.

The curtain pulls back.

Guns.

Drugs.

Indictments.

Disappearing acts.

The rumors, the stories, the news.

Here’s what Sixty Minutes said about it.

It’s only a sliver of the story.

On The Road Again

Flying down the road

The kids think I’m a troll

Because I’ll only play rock and roll

I sing loud and proud

I like the windows down

Still everybody frowns

They all want to hear one thing

And it’s not music from the king

I raised them on Miles and Coltrane

Mozart and Beethoven

Elvis and Frank

When did their musical tastes tank

They are fanatics about country

Since some of those weenies

Started wearing beanies

I would rather commit harry carry

Than listen to those fairies

About dirt and trucks

And dogs wagging their tails for good luck

I would rather stab myself in the neck

Than to sit back and say what the heck

I was told

I’m just getting old

Better roll up the windows before you catch a cold

Just another old man

Driving a bunch of kids in a mini van