About Ken Marteney

A former system kid. Creative at heart. Digital nomad by choice. Lover of coffee and all things sweet. Offering a helping hand to ALL.

Be Nice to Your Waiter

In a room that smelled like aging meat

Chef Mutton Chop had too much to drink

sherry

He blurted out:

The guy who prepared your soup

lobster-bisque

never washes his hands after he poops!

Yes, tap water from the sink

rustyfaucet

is scary to drink.

They all put their dinkys

drink

in the drinkys!

And their noodles

strudel

poke your strudel!

Always having fun

with your bun,

burger

never forgetting the extra sleaze

on the cheese.

Hepatitis — Tag, You’re it!

Chef Mutton Chop then leaned over and vomited in a trash can.

And one final thought…

They always use the tortilla as a wipe

burrito

before they roll your burrito tight.

Cheers!

Have a great time as you dine tonight.

waiters

Celebrities Comment on 500 Followers

simon

I’ll tell you who’s trapped — I was trapped during that post. You’re full of rubbish. You should be kicked off the internet.

ramsey1

Oh my gawd! And you call yourself a writer? Are you stupid? Chef Mutton Chop was the biggest load of crap I’ve ever read! They should kick you off the internet.

drphil

Ken, Ken, Ken. Airing your family’s dirty laundry on the internet. What are you thinking? I’m thinking you weren’t’ thinking. Have you considered changing your title from Potentially Disruptive to Surely Stupid?

matthew

Blog till you’re naked? What are you NSA’ing my mind? Stealing my ideas? Trying to take my mojo? You’re potentially gonna get your butt kicked if I find you rolling around in my head again!

bear

You give the outdoors a bad name. You couldn’t navigate your way out of a kid’s cupcake party.

gary

I’m with Mattie-boy on this one. Stay out of my head! Those are my voices! Mine alone…

*These statements are a pigmentation of my imagination. No actual celebrities were contacted for their opinion on my reaching 500 followers.

 Potentially Disruptive thanks you for following! I always like to refer to myself in third-person.

Trapped

Yesterday I got trapped in a conversation about nothing,

And it went on and on and on

marxbrothers

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

reallybored

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

wideeyed

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

harmonica

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

Then I thought it was over

thoughtitwasover

But it wasn’t

And it kept going on and on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

Harpo Marx

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

frown

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

Then I thought it was over

thoughtitwasover

But it wasn’t

So it went on and on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

lookingaway

I searched for an escape

But it kept going on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

bitingknuckle

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

angry

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

Then I thought it was over

thoughtitwasover

But it wasn’t

And it kept going on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

gun

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

Then I thought it was over

thoughtitwasover

But it wasn’t

And it kept going on

And on and on and on

And on and on and on

And I think it may still be going on…

gone

Rappin’ Yogi Mossie

Yogi Mossie and the Down Dog Posse

We’re tearing hammies from here to Miami

toughpossee

We do our chaturangas in bling

We are the yoga kings

possee

We’re always bringing the hassle

To the parkour lads in Newcastle

parkour2

We’re always starting trouble

Here to burst your fitness bubble

Ram Pratap Verma, a 32-year-old aspiring Bollywood film actor, practices gymnastics on a beach in Mumbai

The heat’s in the meat

As we breathe to the beat

urbanstreet

Yogi Mossie and the Down Dog Posse are tough

Not to be confused with the cross fit fluff

crossfit

Internet blogger freaks doing Blogarate

It’s like a Yugo drag racing a Maserati

Yugo

maserati

You do push-ups on your pinkies

We do press-ups with our winkies

crane

Yoga’s the winner

We’ll consume you for dinner

dinner

Warrior 1

Warrior2

Warrior 3

We practice yoga for free

yogagroup

Yogi Mossie and the Down Dog Posse

Namaste

onhead

Scammed

granny

Granny’s looking for someone special to meet

romance

Cruising the internet for a guy who’s sweet

funeral

Her husband died and now she feels like a loner

gold-jewels

Over the net she met a Ukrainian mine owner

handsome

The picture of the man is tall dark and handsome

ransom

Not realizing her heart will be held for ransom

Granny really begins to care

LoveWords

He knows all the right words to share

IMs

He likes to instant message by choice

Granny never hears his voice

It’s a little odd he won’t use a phone

cash

Then he instant messages Granny for a loan

trouble

He’s in big trouble… a situation far away

Granny loves him so she says “okay”

This situation goes on and on

Skycity . Opening of Nations Clubrooms Fireworks 9th sep.2011

Until all of Granny’s savings are gone

All those with grannies please beware

scammer

Scammers are everywhere

red-heart

Stay close to your granny

Cheers