On The Road Again

Flying down the road

The kids think I’m a troll

Because I’ll only play rock and roll

I sing loud and proud

I like the windows down

Still everybody frowns

They all want to hear one thing

And it’s not music from the king

I raised them on Miles and Coltrane

Mozart and Beethoven

Elvis and Frank

When did their musical tastes tank

They are fanatics about country

Since some of those weenies

Started wearing beanies

I would rather commit harry carry

Than listen to those fairies

About dirt and trucks

And dogs wagging their tails for good luck

I would rather stab myself in the neck

Than to sit back and say what the heck

I was told

I’m just getting old

Better roll up the windows before you catch a cold

Just another old man

Driving a bunch of kids in a mini van

Getting Caught

Beware of the energy vamp

Beware of where they camp

They are looking for you

To turn your mind into goo

With their senseless stories

Feels like your head’s been hit by a lorry

Over and over again

The pain never seems to end

All that useless chatter

What does it really matter

On and on, and on and on they go

Where they stop nobody knows

They’re filling my head full of junk

It’s putting me in a funk

None of it makes any sense

Is there a way to build a mental fence

To stop the onslaught

I’m always getting caught

How does speech

Morph into a leech

To tap you dry

I’m gonna cry

Not really

I’m just being silly

They all need a group hug

And a big sloppy kiss on the mug

I almost forgot to mention

They need YOUR attention

This is a public service announcement from potentially disruptive.

Mean and Green

The wife and I watched Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead

It got stuck in her head

It’s all about juice fasting

Guess who she’s casting

Me

I’m going on a juice fast

She says it’s gonna be a blast

I’m sipping a glass of green yuk

What the #@!$

It already started — no way!

Not a month of drinking hay

But I still get coffee for a week

Ah, she’s so sweet

My little wife

Doing her best to extend my life

But I’m not taking meds

I’m not half dead

I’m not fat and slow

I’m always on the go

Why did the Australian make that show

Now all my food has to go

Why wasn’t it on beer and wine

Now that would be a good time

Let Your Fear Disappear

Let’s be clear

On the topic of fear

Is it the dark

Is it the fact

Everyone thinks you’re a mark

Nobody has your back

When you’re attacked

Living in that home

Wishing everyone would leave you alone

You’re thinking Darwin was right

The pecking order requires you to fight

Again and again

That revolving door seems to never end

The key to success is finding a friend

There is someone around you can trust

This action is a must

Be careful who you pick

Don’t fall for a trick

Look for somebody your own age

Don’t feed in to each other’s rage

The answer is not a gun

The question is

How do you have fun

The more you laugh

The more you smile

The more you reject

The system’s bile

It keeps your heart clean

Which stops you from being mean

It’s not cool to fail

It’s not cool to go to jail

It doesn’t make you tough

It’s just a bunch of fluff

Coming from kids that are confused

Don’t be that muse

I’ll tell you what’s tight

Standing up for what’s right

Have fun and keep your mind clear

And watch your fear disappear

Just Say NO to Mayo

It all started when I sold my motorcycle

For a one-way ticket to the British Isles

I was following a girl

Who went to university in Leeds

She wanted to become a barrister

To fight for women’s needs

I stayed in the south where I could make some cash

I was heading up north for my birthday bash

There was a deep pain in my stomach

I was curled up feeling sad

That mayo on my sandwich must have been bad

My stomach hurt for three days

I went to the doctor

Amazed I didn’t have to pay

Boarding British rail

I was on my way

To see my friend

I could not wait

Arriving at our destination

Six hours late

I didn’t really mind

Until a bottle of wine

Got busted in my nap sack

Going through the turn style

I heard a whack

All my stuff was wet

Still I didn’t fret

I was too excited to see my friend

Plus my stomach was on the mend

I was feeling great

We put my stuff in the wash

And went out and on our date

I hadn’t eaten in days

So a big meal I ate

Walking on the way home

My stomach groaned

I picked up the pace

She said this isn’t a race

You don’t understand I have to go

Please don’t walk so slow

Squeezing my cheeks

Moving my feet

I made it to the door

Half way up the stairs

This isn’t fair

Everything came rushing out

The look on her face

Was like she just got maced

She was pretty clever

Hosing me off in that cold weather

Later that night I tried to get frisky

She said the world doesn’t contain enough whisky

The Flip

We were just back from Europe

Our apartment was small

We were getting depressed

In the land of strip malls

My fellow traveler and funky girlfriend

Both us feeling the walls closing in

Get in the Honda

And head toward the mountains

Looking to rejuvenate

In nature’s wonderful fountain

We found our spot and settled in

This is where the adventure begins

Cooking raw chicken

On busted tree limbs

We heard a strange noise

Coming from down the mountain

It was so far away

Is why we weren’t afraid

Wrapped up in blankets

That cold autumn night

Feeling the warmth of the fire

Everything seemed just right

When a loud and horrible roar

Came from just past our fire light

We ran to the car and locked the doors tight

We looked at each other

This isn’t right

All our things including the keys

Are still at the camp site

Our car was parked beside a drop off

In a precarious position

We needed our keys

To end this rejuvenation mission

A nudge from a bear would send us on a long rolling trip

We sat in the car and I suggested we flip

See my girlfriend was on a feminist kick

She never wanted me to hold open a door

Or carry the bags home from the store

A flip seemed modern and fair

She lost the flip

So she would be facing the bear

I kissed her good-bye

All she did was stare

Stare at the man

That gave her the ultimate dare

I kissed her again and flew out the door

Scooping up our stuff as I roared

Back to the car in a flash

Down the mountain we went

Back to the reality of paying rent

Nature’s fountain had rejuvenated our core

We were feeling much better than before

Our little apartment

Didn’t seem so bad…

Anymore

Junk Drawer of Your Mind

What will you find

Emptying the junk drawer of your mind

What will you discover

Under the cover

Of random thoughts

Of random places

Street lights

And strange faces

So many thoughts

It’s easy to hide

In the frivolous riptide

That pulls our truth aside

What will you find

Emptying the junk drawer of your mind

I Surfed the Ocean of Despair

I was the kind of foster kid that would stand with you till the end if you were my friend.

Even if it meant standing up to someone bigger, we would both get beat up together.

Even if it meant going AWOL to see some family, I would go with you.

When family members let you down, I would be the one to say dude why do you think we’re here.

I was the kid that would introduce you to everyone when you were new.

I was the kid that would always show you around school.

I was also the kid that would incite a riot.

I was one of those kids that was never quiet.

I was one of those kids that had a knack for getting out of jams.

I was one of those kids that was never really sad.

I always figured out a way of having fun.

That’s what got me through the system.

One of my many placements was MacLaren Hall, Los Angeles county’s hell hole. I spent over a year there — and I still have no complaints.

I was in there when the staff could put their hands on you. Give you a little wall to wall counseling.

I saw my fair share of solitary, known as Room One, where you’re stripped down to your underwear with just a mat in an eight by eight room and the bright lights never go out.

My system ride was no picnic.

It was like a wave of violence and dysfunction in an ocean of despair.

I say keep your eyes open, don’t turn your back on that wave. It will crush you.

Paddle out to it and surf it.

Look at it as an adventure.

You’ll come out less beat up in the end.